Work Your Soil

I heard a phrase a few weeks ago from a pastor named Steve Furtick, and it's helped me realize something about myself.  I've realized that I almost always believe that success in ministry is always in a role beyond me.  "Real ministry," I'll say to myself, "Is the flashier stuff.  I'm just doing little stuff that doesn't amount to much."

But Steve's revelation cut through that fog of stubborn inadequacy in me.  "Work your soil," he said.  Be an expert in every part of the ground that God has given you to cultivate right now.  Keep working until it's rich and cleared out and ready for growth.  That's how to engage in true ministry.  Don't look at someone else's soil to quantify ministry.  The Lord has given each of us a plot to upkeep and then called us to care for it, however big or small it happens to be.

Working your soil--THAT is successful ministry.  

Rules for Conflict

I had no idea until I got married that I like to run away from conflict, but now there's no escaping it.  I make both Jeff and me miserable when I run away from someone who's in the same room as me.  Especially at first, it was rocky and painful and unpredictable.  Getting through conflict has felt like a journey up a dark mountain.  At the Weekend to Remember, we learned these 7 practical steps to conflict that have acted as carabiners for us, helping us climb up the mountain.  They've helped establish rules for me to follow which provide a framework for what to do and say.  These are treasures.  Check them out.  

When in conflict, focus on:   

        1. one issue, not many

        2. the problem, not the person

        3. behavior, not the person’s character

        4. specifics, not generalizations

        5. facts, not judgments of motives

        6. “I” statements, not “you” statements

        7. understanding not who’s winning or losing 

I hope they can bless you as much as they've already blessed me!

Characteristics of Generous Forgiveness

In the Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway, we learned that generous forgiveness: 

 1.  Is offered quickly.
 2.  Is applied freely.
 3.  Is expressed graciously, keeping no record of wrongs.
 4.  Leads to true security.

So good.  Here are a few more criteria to add about generous forgiveness:

 5.  Isn't withheld if the person hasn't apologized.
 6.  Leads to true healing. 
 7.  Puts you on the same level as someone, not raised above them. 
 8.  Is based on Jesus' forgiveness for ourselves, not the situation. 

What characteristics would you add?  I'd love to lengthen this list!

Communication Levels

Five Levels of Communication from the Weekend to Remember Getaway Conference:

1. Cliché - non-sharing (shared with anyone)

2. Fact - sharing what you know (shared with many)

3. Opinion - sharing what you think (shared with some)

4. Emotion - sharing what you feel (shared with few)

5. Transparency - sharing who you are (shared with 1-3)

Examples: 

1. Cliché - Hello, how are you?  
2. Fact - It's supposed to rain later today. 
3. Opinion - I don't think he would do a great job as president.  
4. Emotion - When I heard the news, I felt really afraid that we'd get hurt. 
5. Transparency - ... ?

Honestly, I have no framework for the fifth level.  I don't think I've experienced it yet, but I'm excited to.  According to the presenter from the conference, that level takes a lifetime to attain with someone else.  

Imagine with me: what would that be like?  To share all of your you-ness from the bottom to the top with someone else and to receive the same back.  To open every closet door inside to show what's really in you and to have the courage to let someone else see all that's good and bad inside you.  

I'm ready to shift gears in my life to head towards that destination.  I want to be known and to know that deeply.  I want vulnerability and uncompromising honesty to be my constant companions around the incredible people whom God has given me.

Have you gotten to that level?  Can you tell us what it's like?  I'd love to hear about it. 

Give Gifts, Not Snakebites

The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

James 3:5-8

My dad preached the James passage above and taught us to see our tongues as though they were a poisonous snake kept in a cage of teeth.  I'm a mammal, but my tongue is a snake.  

A friend of mine used to work at a zoo handling dangerous animals.  He told me, "It's the mammals you have to watch out for.  They'll pretend like they like you but then turn on you when you're least expecting it.  The reptiles (pythons, alligators, crocodiles) are easy.  They hate you from the start and never pretend anything different."

I'll do much better in my life if I know that my tongue is a reptile, not a mammal that I'm trying to make friends with.

Knowing my words have the power for so much evil, I need to monitor them closely using the filter of Ephesians 4:29.  Here's the Message version:  “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”  

Each word a gift.  

Lord, please help us to be strict with our tongues.  Help us to give out gifts all day with our words instead of releasing our venom.

I'm a Glass

I'm a glass figure that You've lit from the inside.  Now I glow Your blues, greens, and yellows.

Each day You make my layers cleaner, glassier, babier.  One day soon You'll make me so translucent that all that's seen is the colors.  No more of my smudges, just You.

I've grown accustomed to my smudges.  Shine them out of me Lord.  Your light is all I'm made for.

Sorry I'm Not Sorry

A few years ago I heard Colin Powell describe what it’s like to visit hospitals full of recovering soldiers who’ve lost an arm, a leg or sometimes both.  He said, “I never say to them: ‘I’m sorry that this happened to you.’  These men don’t want pity and misery—they want to talk about their battles.  So the first thing I ask is always ‘Were you a good soldier?’  That’s the perfect opportunity for them to talk about their battle.”

Profound.

Today a sweet, sweet friend of mine told me that her heart is completely broken.  Knowing her circumstances, I believe it.  The Lord put her into the fire two months ago, and last weekend He unexpectedly put her into a whole different kind of fire.

Everything in me wanted to respond: “My sweet friend, I’m so sorry!  I see that this is extremely painful, I hate that you’re going through pain and I wish it were a different way.”

But I see four things are true here:  The Lord is in control.  He has my friend in His arms.  He uses suffering to forge immaculate character.  And she is already trusting Him in a radical way.

Certainly it’s comforting if she knows that when she hurts, I hurt.  But I don’t want to empathize to the point of leading her to lament what God is doing in her life, even (especially) the sharp turns that He takes.  So maybe instead of offering her my pity, it’s more helpful to offer her our Jesus, who is far FAR more compassionate than I can be or even understand.

Tough times are often paired with spiritual battles.  I don’t want to be a fellow soldier who comforts my friend on a physical and emotional level, yet works against her in the spiritual battle that’s still in the thick of fighting.  I want to hear how the battle is going and help point her to Jesus who is our physical, emotional and spiritual Savior.

Stars in the Night

Earlier this February, a riot exploded between two drug cartels inside of a prison in Monterrey, Northern Mexico.  They grabbed homemade weapons and after it was all over, 49 inmates were killed.

The first riot sparked a second.  This time it wasn't between the drug cartels, but between the family members of inmates and the prison itself.  They surrounded the building, threw rocks at the gates and even created human bridges around cars to keep employees from leaving the parking lot.  The prison hadn't announced who'd been killed, and the people were desperate to know if their family member inside was alright.

In the midst of the heartbreak of this news report, seeing the families' love has stuck with me.  Even in one of the darkest situations on earth, a riot in a prison, love extends there.  Love ties us with inseparable bonds to someone else no matter where they go.

One frantic mother told a reporter "there are children in there" desperate to hear if her daughter was still alive.  Whether she means "my child is in there" or "my daughter's inside and under 18", it's clear that she doesn't see the people inside as inmates, she sees them as people who have mothers and fathers.

It's incredible that the drug cartel divide didn't seem to divide the family crowd.  Surely there were members of both sides in the crowd and they all knew it.  Instead they literally joined to hold hands to unite under one goal.

There's so much darkness all around us that it's scary to open my eyes and look around.  I don't know why the Lord allowed this story to unfold with 49 deaths, or why a tornado killed 3 people yesterday, or why 32 Virginia Tech students were killed at random in 2007.  So much darkness.  I can't see the right way to think or react to the utter brokenness, and I'm stumbling in the dark.

But in the midst of that black sky, the Lord seems to intermingle the darkness with love.  Love--pushing people to unite with enemies, forgive shooters, or rebuild a stranger's home.  Each time love inspires an action, it's like a star hung in that black sky.  The Lord doesn't leave us in the dark.  He gives us a host of stars to help us find our way through the night.

Our Rhythm

THE RHYTHM OF OUR LIVES

Day 1: Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for man.
Day 2: I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Day 3: The Lord is my strength!  He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.
Day 4: With my God I can leap over a wall.
Day 5: As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart.
Day 6: Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Day 7: CEASE striving and know that the Lord is God.


And repeat.

The Lightmaker's Gift

The Lightmaker had a Son.  He loved his Son so much he gave him light.

The Son loved his Father and so was honored to get this gift.  The light shone on everyone around.  As people marveled at the brightness, the Son told the story over and over about how it was a gift from his Father.  The more he told the story, the bigger and brighter the light became.

Then the Son fell in love.  His bride captured his heart.  Marked with the same generosity from his Father, the Son gave the light to her, the woman he loved.  Now she shines with beautiful radiance because of his gift.  The Son and his bride are always together now in the light, watching it grow as they tell everyone the story of his Father’s incredible gift.

Jesus said, "The glory that You, Father, have given Me I have given to them...”  John 17:22a

20 Tips to Change a Person's Life

1. Never allow yourself to complain, even about the weather.
2. Find a tree you like and spend 15 minutes a day watching it grow.
3. When you first wake up in the morning, surrender your day to God.
4. Sit down with a cup of coffee and some paper at the beginning of each week.  By praying and brainstorming with your schedule, answer these questions “What’s the best way to spend my time?  What should my pace be each week?”  Then once you have a good sense of those answers, start adjusting your life accordingly.
5. Modest is hottest.
6. When making a decision, try to take the longview; think years down the road, not minutes.
7. Keep all your prayer requests for yourself and for other people in one place.
8. Establish a Sabbath day for you to rest and guard it like a hawk.
9. Study the Bible systematically all the way through.  If it gets boring, keep reading.  You’ll be so glad you did.
10. Try showering with the lights off.
11. Think of the 10 closest people in your life.  Now think of 3 ways to bless each of those people.  Next spend the next month following through on those blessings, one a day.
12. Don’t buy cheap jeans.
13. Pray big big prayers.
14. At the end of the day, write down your favorite part about that day in a favorite things journal.
15. Fight hard to build deep and rich friendships with your siblings.
16. Befriend the person who is the most different from you.
17. Every time you walk through a doorway, pray.
18. Hold your future with an open hand.  It won’t be what you’re expecting.
19. Stay really really close with your mom.
20. Memorize as much Scripture as humanly possible.

Let the Stable Still Astonish

Let the Stable Still Astonish by Leslie Leyland Fields

Let the stable still astonish:
Straw--dirt floor, dull eyes,
Dusty flanks of donkeys, oxen;
Crumbling, crooked walls;
No bed to carry that pain,
And then, the child,
Rag-wrapped, laid to cry
In a trough.

Who would have chosen this?
Who would have said: "Yes,
Let the God of all the heavens and the earth
Be born here, in this place"?

Who but the same God
Who stands in the darker, fowler rooms
Of our hearts
And says, "Yes,
Let the God of Heaven and Earth
Be born here--
In this place."

Courage to Fall Down

I'm reading a novel called The Winter Garden about a woman named Meredith in her 40's.  In the midst of a cold relationship with her mom and a distant season with her husband Jeff, her father dies.  The first half of the book walks us through how she processes that loss.  

Unfortunately, Meredith doesn't grieve well.  Instead of letting the pain and sadness flow through her, she dams it up by running to productivity as a distraction.  When Jeff leans in to comfort her, she brushes him aside (this was agonizing to read since my husband is named Jeff too) and cleans the house.  When she feels the waves of sadness approaching, she frantically finds something new to fix and organize.  Dishes, running the family business, packing, running--all these chores are her safe haven from grief.

This goes on for months and Meredith is still completely blind to how she's refusing to grieve.  Things have gotten worse.  After being ignored and rejected for over 6 months, Jeff separates from her and stays somewhere else.  Before he leaves, he asks her one last time, "Do you even love me anymore?" and she brushes him away again with a newfound coldness.  She becomes a sort of terror to be around.  Her lens has darkened and now it seems that no one is doing enough for her.  She resents her family and coworkers for leaving so much to be fixed and an unending amount of work to go behind and do.  But her mind is really playing a trick on her because she desperately needs the work.  Whenever it ends, that's when the sadness comes that she can't give into.

Thinking about this makes me cringe inside with nausea.  It all started for her when she chose to run away instead of to fall down with courage and let the sadness wash through her.  And the more often she chose to run, the blinder and colder and more cowardly she became.

I see a seed of this tendency to run to productivity in my heart too.

Last night after dinner, my wonderful husband and I were talking about something that was starting to get really hard for me to hear and I was starting to cry.  After a pitifully short time, I gave into the urge that being so close to this conversation and holding his hand was too stifling.  Then my heart was relieved to remember that there were dishes that needed to be done.  "Getting work done and serving like that would make me feel better about myself" I thought.  So away I went right in the middle of the tough conversation, surely leaving Jeff really confused.  But the Lord is so good to me.  When I got on the second dish, the Lord or the memory of the nausea from that book came back to me and I heard a whisper that I was being a coward.  I needed to have the courage to fall down.

So I came back to where my man was and pretty much immediately started crying in that way where you just hate having other people around.  But the Lord used it!  He shined His light into that conversation in a new way from that point on, and inspired both of us with great ideas.  The Lord didn't leave me fallen down--He helped me back up to my feet.  Now I don't have this giant pressure I'm holding back.  He helped the sadness to wash through me and now it's out of me.

I want to scream inside thinking through what could happen in my life were I to let that seed of cowardice grow up in me.  This is why I need the Lord not every hour, but every moment.

Thank You for how You're helping me, Lord.  Please don't ever stop. 

Fear is a Chain

"I prayed to the Lord and He answered me.  He freed me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4

Fear makes a life small.  Fear is a chain wrapped around an idea.  And once set, the chains tend to grow and affect bigger and bigger sections of your life until you're so confined that life is little more than a heartbeat.

The Lord sees into our hearts.  He sees our chains and loves to break them for us.  Fear easily overpowers us, but it's no match for the Lord's light.  It must be so gratifying for the Lord when He gets to break fear's hold and set us free.

Do you see fear in your life?  Don't settle.  Follow David's example.  Pray to the Lord and then listen for Him to answer you.  Punishing yourself (or someone else) by letting fear linger is not a decision inspired by the Lord.  Root it out as quickly as you can.  

Pesky Distractions

Although he's still in a suit, the man with the clear rimmed glasses filed away his tie hours ago.  His salt and pepper hair is ruffled, showing that it's been a long day.  One more flight till he's home.  He got to the correct gate a half hour before boarding, so he sat down to run through his emails.  As he jumped through the hoops for wifi, a flicker out the window showed the plane attaching to the extending jet bridge.  For a hair of a second, he envisioned himself as the driver maneuvering that massive engine.  'Imagine the horsepower,' he thought.  'How much maneuverability would I really have with such small wheels?  I wonder...' but then came a firm yet almost imperceptible "No" in his head and immediately his mind jumped tracks back to his email.  

The overpowering "No" guarding his attention span enables this man to focus in his life on what he wants instead of what he experiences.  Cutting his imagination off at will means that he can walk a linear road and be a linear person.   Smart.  Totally necessary for any kind of focus.

I've noticed lately that those hair of a second moments seem to be growing dimmer in my life.  And all the sudden I want them back.  I want the pesky distractions.  I've let my "No" grow into too much of a bully.

Now I'm on the alert searching for those random flashes of imagination in my life.  And when they come, I want to feed them.  What you feed grows.  After all, the Lord created me to be a human being not a machine, and that wasn't an accident.

And who knows what those spotty flashes can grow into?  I honestly don't know, but maybe one day it'll grow to be a steady blink flashing like a camera on the Lord's beauty.

Me vs. God

In the latest Rocky movie called Creed, Rocky is training his greatest rival’s son Adonis.  As they’re going through the grueling conditioning, at one point there’s a powerful scene in front of a mirror.  Rocky told him: "You see this guy right here [in the mirror], he will be your toughest opponent.  That's true inside the ring and that's true in life."  

Months later as a rookie, Adonis is matched to fight Ricky Conlan, the #1 heavyweight champion of the world.  After 10 out of 12 violent rounds, both fighters are bleeding and completely exhausted as they take a 30 second break.  In his corner of the ring while medics drain blood off his face, Rocky reminds him: “Don’t look at Conlan!  It’s you against you, Doni.  You’re your biggest obstacle.  You can beat this!”

Man, so inspiring.  It encourages me to own up to problems myself instead of blaming other people or uncontrollable circumstances.  So good.  

I think Rocky would say that you’re fighting against yourself your whole life.  As I’ve thought about it more deeply for myself, it’s a pretty big let down.  Deep down I know that I’m not that tough or that muscly on the inside or the outside.  I’m not a great fighter.  But then in the middle of my disappointment, a beautiful, beautiful thought has whispered in:  “It’s not me vs. me in my life.  Now that I have Jesus, it’s me vs. the Lord.”  I find my Rocky-sprinting-to-the-top-of-the-stairs moments not by mastering myself, but by letting God master me.  

So when I’m up against something unbeatable and it’s the 10th round with pain everywhere, I can remember what Rocky said and then add this new truth:  Don’t look at the opponent—its me against God and God can beat this.  God is ultimately the One I’m struggling and wrestling against and He gives me the strength to fight.   

The Nutcracker Masterpiece

Stretching limbs
Tightened strings
Dust in the air
Endless run throughs
Frantic practicing
Directed prayers
Unbroken focus
Feeling the time slip
Wishing for more
Deep breaths
Reassuring glances
An orchestra in tune
Antsy stage managers
Adjusting costumes
Stepping into place
Perfect positioning
Feeling the fire inside.

On the other side of the curtain
A crowd wiggling their coats off
Finding their seats
Whispering excitement
Picture taking
Settling in
Feeling the excitement
Deep breaths
Eyes are big
Trying to absorb it all
Waiting for the music to start
The lights to fall
And the curtain to raise
Ready to lose themselves in beauty
Feeling the fire inside.

Livening our Fire

I read a quote recently from two married couple whose excitement and romance dissolved after their wedding.  They described their relationship like slowly fading embers from a deserted campfire.  That one afternoon was the pinnacle of everything for them, and the rest was a descent.

How indescribably sad!

Jeff and I have been married for four months now, and I know that the real fire in our relationship has only just begun to light.  The wedding was just setting up the logs and now it's time for the flame.  We're on a journey to learn marriage as we learn each other.

I see a so many things that have been livening our fire way beyond the wedding day, but here's three: cherishing the past, delighting in our present, and shaping ourselves for the future.

CHERISHING THE PAST

I have the most beautiful engagement and wedding rings that I've ever seen.  They're my favorite.  I've never seen anything else that I'd ever want more.  No joke: they're blindingly sparkly, yellow gold, and completely thought up by my thoughtful man.  My heart stopped when I saw the engagement ring for the first time.  My whole body echoed with delight and pleasure for weeks.  I was worse than a teenager texting.  I couldn't keep my eyes off that sparkle.

Our natural response to adapt can be a big vice when we're trying to live a life continually appreciating delights.  It's easy for me to grow used to this treasure sitting on my finger and glance past it.  But I can choose to keep the glow fresh--in my heart and on my hand.  Practically speaking, that means that I clean my ring every morning.  A drop of dish soap and water with my mini brush keeps both rings sparkling up a storm.  Diamonds are like fire.  They never sparkle in the same way twice.  It's incredible to get to watch and think about what it symbolizes.  Oddly, that 20 second habit warms my heart too.  It reminds me afresh how incredible my man is when I'm prone to be selfish and entitled.

Precious married and unmarried people--I exhort you to do whatever you can to keep the sparkle sparkly in your life and in your heart.

DELIGHTING IN THE PRESENT

There is so much treasure to marvel at in our present:

• I get to know Jeff better than anyone else and vice versa.  
• Jeff knows the quirks in me and loves me even when I'm unlovely. 
• Neither of us is going anywhere, so we're safe to be just who we are.  
• We get to love each other in brand new ways. 
• Jeff is amazingly selfless and caring toward me.  That's unlike anything I've ever experienced. 
• We're at the very beginning--I feel like I barely know this man and I'm excited to learn more. 

SHAPING OURSELVES FOR THE FUTURE

We lead ourselves toward the future we choose.  I want to run toward a future where I'm a person who Jeff would fall head over heels for in an instant.  I want to follow God's call to give my life to Jeff as a delight to him and to the Lord.  Perpetual gift giving.  That sets us ablaze like nothing else.

Recipes

When I moved out of my parents house, my mom gave me a thick recipe book full of handwritten family favorites written in her beautiful cursive.

Then I got engaged to this wonderful man and all the sudden the world swept us up in celebration.  Bridal showers brought us stacks of new recipes with old favorites from other families.  Then my precious mother-in-law gave me a recipe book full of my new family's favorites spanning all the way back to great grandparents.

Initially as I started making friends with cooking, I was in survival mode.  I scoffed at anything with more than 6 ingredients or anything that needed more than half an hour to cook.  All those recipes sat unlooked at.

But the Lord has helped me to grow so much with cooking.  After I found more of a rhythm, one cozy night I pulled out all the recipes and got to work.  I sorted, ranked, organized and came out with two full binders of compiled treasures.  And now our meals are fully immersed with these recipes and we love it!  The variety, creativity and flavor of what's eaten in the Davenport home has increased exponentially.

Recipes are all around me--some for food and some for living.  And when I look at my heart when it hears wisdom, it still hasn't grown out of survival mode.  If things are bad, I search for the quickest remedy possible. But if I hear someone giving a recipe for living that sounds overly complicated or unnecessary, I don't really want to hear it. I'll nod and then leave the advice ignored in a stack somewhere in my brain.

But what if I did a better job at recording, strategizing and following the life recipes all around me?  I want a richer character, a deeper love, and a clearer vision to see the Lord.  Might this help?  Were I to lock my pride in a closet and let other people's wisdom affect me deeply, might that produce a more savory heart?  Definitely worth a try.  

Loving Others is Loving Jesus

Speaking in the voice of Jesus, Henry Van Dyke interpreted Matthew 25:40 by saying, "Every deed of love and mercy, done to man is done to Me."

Imagine Jesus is walking up to your home.  

Let's remember for a moment who He is.  He's the King of kings who also bends down and washes feet.  He's the Perfect One with the holes in His hands.  He was crushed by our sin to set us free.  He took what was worst about us and then freely gave us a redeemed relationship with God, heaven, eternity, life, the Holy Spirit and purpose.

This Jesus, imagine He walks into the room with you.  

What would you do?  

What would you say?  What would be happening in your heart?  

Were it me, here's what might happen.  Pandemonium and tears.  Squeals of delight and tight tight hugs.  Worship and awe.  Dropping everything else and doing anything to just sit with Him or serve Him.    Then leaving anything else behind to follow that Man wherever He goes.  

There will be a day when we get to be in the same room as Jesus.  Doesn't that sound a trumpet somewhere deep inside you?  One day faith will be traded for sight.  

Until that happens, Jesus hasn't left us empty-handed.  He's given us this mysterious secret for the meantime: we can live out our pandemonium and tears for Jesus now by loving others.  

Have you ever been so excited about something that you couldn't help but embrace some unknowing person?  That's what we can do now, and Jesus knows that it's for Him.  

So I can hug people tight and somehow I've just embraced Him.  Beautiful.  

Jesus, my heart pines for You.  I want to see You and thank You and be with You. Thank You for showing me how I can channel my excitement now and You know exactly what it means.  I pray for a sticky mind to remember this secret when temptation comes.  Help me to fight to love instead of treating You cheaply by not loving someone.

He'll Get Us There

"Ring the bells that still can ring, 

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything,

That's how the light gets in."  (Leonard Cohen)

Do what you can, don't give up. 

Stop up your itching, doubting ears,

The ears that hear failure's whispers. 

And sing this to your tears:

    Jesus is our Success,

    Jesus is our Success.

Feel the hand that's holding yours?

He has us.  He keeps holding on

Even when we trip and stumble. 

Get up sweet, precious one, 

     

He'll get us there.

Roses

"Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow."

France's Hodgson Burnett, 1859-1924

What if we were built for more than just pulling out the weeds in our lives, more than just fighting off sins and bad habits?  

What if what's inside us is actually this rich, organic substance that incubates and displays God's beauty?  

Colossians 3 challenges us to pull out the weeds in our lives, but then it spends just as long pleading with us to grow the flowers by putting on righteousness.

I've been too short-sighted lately.  But now I see that I want a life of roses, not just empty soil.  And isn't it so true that higher goals always make maintenance work so much easier?  It's easy to clean your house when you have company coming.  But if it's your only project for the day, all the sudden it's daunting.  

ROSES.

- In my marriage, I want to give my life away again and again to Jeff.  I want to constantly be changed into someone who deeply loves and is loved.  Soil would just be pleasant cohabitation--surely the soil God has given me is destined for more than just that.

- In my job, I want to work knowing that everything I do is directly for Jesus.  I want to do as much as I can for as long as I can as hard as I can because I love Him.  That's what a rose looks like--not just the sandbox of meeting expectations.

- In my friendships, I want to search out and discover the greatness God has put into these precious people He has me around.  I want to be a friend like Jonathan was to David.  Soil would be cordial conversations to make me feel better.  There's so much more hat can be entailed in 'living a life worthy of the Lord.'

Lord, I am sorry for settling for empty soil.  Thank You for being patient with me.  I know that unless You build the house (or me, the plant), we work in vain.  I pray for beautiful roses to sprout up in this dusty soul You've given me.  I want people to see the flowers You grow and marvel at Your creativity.  Here I am Lord.  

Every Place

"Lord, make me see Thy glory in every place."  Michelangelo

Every place, Lord.

You are everywhere.  I am sorry for how I've missed you in so much of the life You've given me.  But You've been there.  No more missing You!  I want to see Your glory even in the insomnia, the disappointments and the hard days.  Even in the traffic or the incessant busyness--I know that You're there.  Please open my eyes to see you.

When I see You, then You add color and music and life to the deadness.  I'd be a fool to settle for anything less.

Our Leaning Plant

We got this little plant for Christmas.  We don't know what kind of plant it is, but it's fun to see it shoot out of the dirt.  Jeff has been babying it big time.  Since he's currently out of town, he gave me somber instructions to "give it some loving" while he's away.  He knows that I only water plants once a week, whereas this little guy is used to being watered everyday.  So I've watered it daily, but I've stopped short of Jeff's pampering.  As the sun goes down, Jeff will keep moving the plant so it stays in the rays.  Way above my pay grade.

It's changing so fast!  

Much like me.  The Lord has me in this clear place of growth where I can see the changes almost daily.  He's building new foundations, new beams and truths in my soul.  I am different, but I'm not exactly sure what I am yet.  And my wonderful Jeff is taking impeccable care of me which is sparking all of this newness.

It's scary sometimes.  What is being built in me?  What in the world am I fit for?  Who am I now, and who was I before?  I'm tempted to press into these questions too far and then all the sudden, fear reigns and the future is dark.  

But I love looking at this little plant.  The only thing I notice it doing is stretching out toward the sun.  Beyond that, it's just sitting there as the sun grows it.

John 12:46 teaches that Jesus is our Light, our Sun.  By Him, we grow and change.  So I'll take a lesson from this little plant.  I don't know what to do with all this newness.  So I'll just lean into the Lord my Light and watch Him grow me into exactly who He's building me to be.  

Lord, I open my heart to the changes You're making and the ones You have yet to make.  By all means, bring on the change and grow me as big or as small as You'd like.  I'm right where I'm supposed to be when I'm in Your light.