Fear is a Chain

"I prayed to the Lord and He answered me.  He freed me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4

Fear makes a life small.  Fear is a chain wrapped around an idea.  And once set, the chains tend to grow and affect bigger and bigger sections of your life until you're so confined that life is little more than a heartbeat.

The Lord sees into our hearts.  He sees our chains and loves to break them for us.  Fear easily overpowers us, but it's no match for the Lord's light.  It must be so gratifying for the Lord when He gets to break fear's hold and set us free.

Do you see fear in your life?  Don't settle.  Follow David's example.  Pray to the Lord and then listen for Him to answer you.  Punishing yourself (or someone else) by letting fear linger is not a decision inspired by the Lord.  Root it out as quickly as you can.  

Pesky Distractions

Although he's still in a suit, the man with the clear rimmed glasses filed away his tie hours ago.  His salt and pepper hair is ruffled, showing that it's been a long day.  One more flight till he's home.  He got to the correct gate a half hour before boarding, so he sat down to run through his emails.  As he jumped through the hoops for wifi, a flicker out the window showed the plane attaching to the extending jet bridge.  For a hair of a second, he envisioned himself as the driver maneuvering that massive engine.  'Imagine the horsepower,' he thought.  'How much maneuverability would I really have with such small wheels?  I wonder...' but then came a firm yet almost imperceptible "No" in his head and immediately his mind jumped tracks back to his email.  

The overpowering "No" guarding his attention span enables this man to focus in his life on what he wants instead of what he experiences.  Cutting his imagination off at will means that he can walk a linear road and be a linear person.   Smart.  Totally necessary for any kind of focus.

I've noticed lately that those hair of a second moments seem to be growing dimmer in my life.  And all the sudden I want them back.  I want the pesky distractions.  I've let my "No" grow into too much of a bully.

Now I'm on the alert searching for those random flashes of imagination in my life.  And when they come, I want to feed them.  What you feed grows.  After all, the Lord created me to be a human being not a machine, and that wasn't an accident.

And who knows what those spotty flashes can grow into?  I honestly don't know, but maybe one day it'll grow to be a steady blink flashing like a camera on the Lord's beauty.

Me vs. God

In the latest Rocky movie called Creed, Rocky is training his greatest rival’s son Adonis.  As they’re going through the grueling conditioning, at one point there’s a powerful scene in front of a mirror.  Rocky told him: "You see this guy right here [in the mirror], he will be your toughest opponent.  That's true inside the ring and that's true in life."  

Months later as a rookie, Adonis is matched to fight Ricky Conlan, the #1 heavyweight champion of the world.  After 10 out of 12 violent rounds, both fighters are bleeding and completely exhausted as they take a 30 second break.  In his corner of the ring while medics drain blood off his face, Rocky reminds him: “Don’t look at Conlan!  It’s you against you, Doni.  You’re your biggest obstacle.  You can beat this!”

Man, so inspiring.  It encourages me to own up to problems myself instead of blaming other people or uncontrollable circumstances.  So good.  

I think Rocky would say that you’re fighting against yourself your whole life.  As I’ve thought about it more deeply for myself, it’s a pretty big let down.  Deep down I know that I’m not that tough or that muscly on the inside or the outside.  I’m not a great fighter.  But then in the middle of my disappointment, a beautiful, beautiful thought has whispered in:  “It’s not me vs. me in my life.  Now that I have Jesus, it’s me vs. the Lord.”  I find my Rocky-sprinting-to-the-top-of-the-stairs moments not by mastering myself, but by letting God master me.  

So when I’m up against something unbeatable and it’s the 10th round with pain everywhere, I can remember what Rocky said and then add this new truth:  Don’t look at the opponent—its me against God and God can beat this.  God is ultimately the One I’m struggling and wrestling against and He gives me the strength to fight.   

The Nutcracker Masterpiece

Stretching limbs
Tightened strings
Dust in the air
Endless run throughs
Frantic practicing
Directed prayers
Unbroken focus
Feeling the time slip
Wishing for more
Deep breaths
Reassuring glances
An orchestra in tune
Antsy stage managers
Adjusting costumes
Stepping into place
Perfect positioning
Feeling the fire inside.

On the other side of the curtain
A crowd wiggling their coats off
Finding their seats
Whispering excitement
Picture taking
Settling in
Feeling the excitement
Deep breaths
Eyes are big
Trying to absorb it all
Waiting for the music to start
The lights to fall
And the curtain to raise
Ready to lose themselves in beauty
Feeling the fire inside.

Livening our Fire

I read a quote recently from two married couple whose excitement and romance dissolved after their wedding.  They described their relationship like slowly fading embers from a deserted campfire.  That one afternoon was the pinnacle of everything for them, and the rest was a descent.

How indescribably sad!

Jeff and I have been married for four months now, and I know that the real fire in our relationship has only just begun to light.  The wedding was just setting up the logs and now it's time for the flame.  We're on a journey to learn marriage as we learn each other.

I see a so many things that have been livening our fire way beyond the wedding day, but here's three: cherishing the past, delighting in our present, and shaping ourselves for the future.

CHERISHING THE PAST

I have the most beautiful engagement and wedding rings that I've ever seen.  They're my favorite.  I've never seen anything else that I'd ever want more.  No joke: they're blindingly sparkly, yellow gold, and completely thought up by my thoughtful man.  My heart stopped when I saw the engagement ring for the first time.  My whole body echoed with delight and pleasure for weeks.  I was worse than a teenager texting.  I couldn't keep my eyes off that sparkle.

Our natural response to adapt can be a big vice when we're trying to live a life continually appreciating delights.  It's easy for me to grow used to this treasure sitting on my finger and glance past it.  But I can choose to keep the glow fresh--in my heart and on my hand.  Practically speaking, that means that I clean my ring every morning.  A drop of dish soap and water with my mini brush keeps both rings sparkling up a storm.  Diamonds are like fire.  They never sparkle in the same way twice.  It's incredible to get to watch and think about what it symbolizes.  Oddly, that 20 second habit warms my heart too.  It reminds me afresh how incredible my man is when I'm prone to be selfish and entitled.

Precious married and unmarried people--I exhort you to do whatever you can to keep the sparkle sparkly in your life and in your heart.

DELIGHTING IN THE PRESENT

There is so much treasure to marvel at in our present:

• I get to know Jeff better than anyone else and vice versa.  
• Jeff knows the quirks in me and loves me even when I'm unlovely. 
• Neither of us is going anywhere, so we're safe to be just who we are.  
• We get to love each other in brand new ways. 
• Jeff is amazingly selfless and caring toward me.  That's unlike anything I've ever experienced. 
• We're at the very beginning--I feel like I barely know this man and I'm excited to learn more. 

SHAPING OURSELVES FOR THE FUTURE

We lead ourselves toward the future we choose.  I want to run toward a future where I'm a person who Jeff would fall head over heels for in an instant.  I want to follow God's call to give my life to Jeff as a delight to him and to the Lord.  Perpetual gift giving.  That sets us ablaze like nothing else.

Recipes

When I moved out of my parents house, my mom gave me a thick recipe book full of handwritten family favorites written in her beautiful cursive.

Then I got engaged to this wonderful man and all the sudden the world swept us up in celebration.  Bridal showers brought us stacks of new recipes with old favorites from other families.  Then my precious mother-in-law gave me a recipe book full of my new family's favorites spanning all the way back to great grandparents.

Initially as I started making friends with cooking, I was in survival mode.  I scoffed at anything with more than 6 ingredients or anything that needed more than half an hour to cook.  All those recipes sat unlooked at.

But the Lord has helped me to grow so much with cooking.  After I found more of a rhythm, one cozy night I pulled out all the recipes and got to work.  I sorted, ranked, organized and came out with two full binders of compiled treasures.  And now our meals are fully immersed with these recipes and we love it!  The variety, creativity and flavor of what's eaten in the Davenport home has increased exponentially.

Recipes are all around me--some for food and some for living.  And when I look at my heart when it hears wisdom, it still hasn't grown out of survival mode.  If things are bad, I search for the quickest remedy possible. But if I hear someone giving a recipe for living that sounds overly complicated or unnecessary, I don't really want to hear it. I'll nod and then leave the advice ignored in a stack somewhere in my brain.

But what if I did a better job at recording, strategizing and following the life recipes all around me?  I want a richer character, a deeper love, and a clearer vision to see the Lord.  Might this help?  Were I to lock my pride in a closet and let other people's wisdom affect me deeply, might that produce a more savory heart?  Definitely worth a try.  

Loving Others is Loving Jesus

Speaking in the voice of Jesus, Henry Van Dyke interpreted Matthew 25:40 by saying, "Every deed of love and mercy, done to man is done to Me."

Imagine Jesus is walking up to your home.  

Let's remember for a moment who He is.  He's the King of kings who also bends down and washes feet.  He's the Perfect One with the holes in His hands.  He was crushed by our sin to set us free.  He took what was worst about us and then freely gave us a redeemed relationship with God, heaven, eternity, life, the Holy Spirit and purpose.

This Jesus, imagine He walks into the room with you.  

What would you do?  

What would you say?  What would be happening in your heart?  

Were it me, here's what might happen.  Pandemonium and tears.  Squeals of delight and tight tight hugs.  Worship and awe.  Dropping everything else and doing anything to just sit with Him or serve Him.    Then leaving anything else behind to follow that Man wherever He goes.  

There will be a day when we get to be in the same room as Jesus.  Doesn't that sound a trumpet somewhere deep inside you?  One day faith will be traded for sight.  

Until that happens, Jesus hasn't left us empty-handed.  He's given us this mysterious secret for the meantime: we can live out our pandemonium and tears for Jesus now by loving others.  

Have you ever been so excited about something that you couldn't help but embrace some unknowing person?  That's what we can do now, and Jesus knows that it's for Him.  

So I can hug people tight and somehow I've just embraced Him.  Beautiful.  

Jesus, my heart pines for You.  I want to see You and thank You and be with You. Thank You for showing me how I can channel my excitement now and You know exactly what it means.  I pray for a sticky mind to remember this secret when temptation comes.  Help me to fight to love instead of treating You cheaply by not loving someone.